YOU GUYS IT’S SUPER PI DAY AND I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE IT

GUESS WHAT DUDES IT’S PI DAY, ONE OF MY FAVORITE DAYS! But this year, it is so much more than that!

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3/14/15 9:26:53. 3.141592653. TEN DIGITS, COUNT THEM. I have already experienced this amazing moment this morning, and look forward to experiencing it again in the PM. Pi is a magical number, Pie is a magical dessert, and Super Pi(e) Day is a magical, magical day for us all, and won’t come around again until 2115! It’s rarer (more rare?) than Halley’s Comet! ¬†Today is also the Saturday before Saint Patrick’s Day but if you think I like green beer more than pie YOU WOULD BE VERY WRONG. Continue reading

Dinner Party Twofer: Pulled pork and Chocolate Almond Torte

I had a dinner party this weekend! I love dinner parties, because they are generally parties that consist of dinner. That is a very good thing. My apartment is a bit cramped for 8 people, and I only actually own 5 chairs, but we managed to make it happen. And guess what? IT WAS A MURDER MYSTERY DINNER PARTY. Oh yes. Mystery, intrigue, betrayal, and cake. We had a grand ole time. The murder was set in New Orleans, so we all got to try our hand at having a horrible southern accent. I played the part of Cayenne Pepper, a successful chef with a dark secret. Yep. I wasn’t the murderer, but not for lack of trying.

Anyway, the subject of this post is prepping for a dinner party. Do you find the thought of cooking food for a large number of people alarming? Calm your tits, we’re going to put those fears to rest.

Tired of this happening EVERY time you try to host an event?

Tired of this happening EVERY time you try to put out a cheese plate for your guests?? You and me, both.

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Necessary kitchen tools

Hi again! Thanks for all of your interest in my shitty blog Рit was a very exciting first post, with over 200 views from 11 countries! Folks from the US, Australia, Cambodia, Vietnam, Brazil, Grenada, Spain, the Netherlands, Guatemala, Sweden and Morocco all tuned in. Shout out to Laura, Liz, Lua, Jill, Marthe, Hilary, and Sienna for being who I suspect gave a shit from so far, far away, and being boss ladies of the world. Continue reading

First post: Roast Beef Tenderloin with Porcini Mushrooms and Tarragon

Hey guys! Thanks for looking at my shitty blog. I’m glad you’re here. Let me introduce this food-based shouting platform with a disclaimer: I do not write recipes. I’m not a chef. I’m a human-esque eating machine. All the recipes on this site come from other sources, whether it’s my mom, your mom, an old cookbook, a new cookbook, or another (better) foodblog. I’ll always do my best to give the original source. My goal here is to prove that a normal human being can cook good food, and I hope that I can in some way encourage you to embark on a culinary expedition.

Our first adventure is going to be a doozy – a big-ass beef tenderloin in a creamy mushroom sauce. It blew my fucking mind. And, as always, it’s not as hard as it looks.

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