BRUCE BOGTROTTER’S CHOCOLATE CAKE

My blog turned one whole year old at the beginning of March! Can you believe it?

I’m going to cut to the chase.

Remember this movie?

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If you don’t, then get out.

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A pie crust, a peach pie, and rage.

As you may or may not recall, on Pi day I promised to teach you how to make pie crust. And the fulfillment of that promise has been a long time coming, because I hate making pie crust. But here it is, you selfish bastards.

However, that’s not all. Not only did I make a pie crust, but I put a fucking pie inside of it. Amazing, right? It’s a mother-flomping peach pie, because of summer reasons. I’ll go over the making of the crust first, followed by the pie itself.

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You jagweeds.

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YOU GUYS IT’S SUPER PI DAY AND I CAN’T FUCKING BELIEVE IT

GUESS WHAT DUDES IT’S PI DAY, ONE OF MY FAVORITE DAYS! But this year, it is so much more than that!

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3/14/15 9:26:53. 3.141592653. TEN DIGITS, COUNT THEM. I have already experienced this amazing moment this morning, and look forward to experiencing it again in the PM. Pi is a magical number, Pie is a magical dessert, and Super Pi(e) Day is a magical, magical day for us all, and won’t come around again until 2115! It’s rarer (more rare?) than Halley’s Comet!  Today is also the Saturday before Saint Patrick’s Day but if you think I like green beer more than pie YOU WOULD BE VERY WRONG. Continue reading

Dinner Party Twofer: Pulled pork and Chocolate Almond Torte

I had a dinner party this weekend! I love dinner parties, because they are generally parties that consist of dinner. That is a very good thing. My apartment is a bit cramped for 8 people, and I only actually own 5 chairs, but we managed to make it happen. And guess what? IT WAS A MURDER MYSTERY DINNER PARTY. Oh yes. Mystery, intrigue, betrayal, and cake. We had a grand ole time. The murder was set in New Orleans, so we all got to try our hand at having a horrible southern accent. I played the part of Cayenne Pepper, a successful chef with a dark secret. Yep. I wasn’t the murderer, but not for lack of trying.

Anyway, the subject of this post is prepping for a dinner party. Do you find the thought of cooking food for a large number of people alarming? Calm your tits, we’re going to put those fears to rest.

Tired of this happening EVERY time you try to host an event?

Tired of this happening EVERY time you try to put out a cheese plate for your guests?? You and me, both.

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