Bitchin’ Roast Chicken

Did you want to get intimate with a dead chicken today? Oh, ok.

ROAST CHICKEN – impress friends, lovers, countrymen. Win affections, sow favors, get laid, throw it at the president. I don’t care what you do with this thing, but maybe eating it is a good idea.

This thing is much easier to make than it looks, so if you’re already thinking “I am not worthy of greatness”, then please take a deep breath, assume a power stance, and be a confident, independent soul. Continue reading


First post: Roast Beef Tenderloin with Porcini Mushrooms and Tarragon

Hey guys! Thanks for looking at my shitty blog. I’m glad you’re here. Let me introduce this food-based shouting platform with a disclaimer: I do not write recipes. I’m not a chef. I’m a human-esque eating machine. All the recipes on this site come from other sources, whether it’s my mom, your mom, an old cookbook, a new cookbook, or another (better) foodblog. I’ll always do my best to give the original source. My goal here is to prove that a normal human being can cook good food, and I hope that I can in some way encourage you to embark on a culinary expedition.

Our first adventure is going to be a doozy – a big-ass beef tenderloin in a creamy mushroom sauce. It blew my fucking mind. And, as always, it’s not as hard as it looks.

IMG_3210 Continue reading